Thursday 26 March 2009

Conan P.I. The Heart of Darkness.



Conan had arrived too late...whatever schemes both Unionist gangs had laid were now as dust.


The long hours sharing smoke filled rooms with the likes of AM2, sm753 and Rufus T. Firefly, deep below the dark and forbidding Scotsman building had-finally-had their effect.

The normally imperturbable librarian turned private investigator looked around in horror.

Smashed and overturned computers mingled inextricably with pizza boxes, empty crumpled cans...and the eviscerated bodies of several pony-tailed, middle aged men.
But one workstation remained.The only damage done seemed to be the broken chains hanging from the wall.It's soft drink cans were still in alphabetical order; the wastepaper basket stood upright, it's load of wadded kleenex intact.

The creature sheathed it's gory knife, and turned to face him.


Niko was no more...in his place was the Anti-Hero known as Union Jack the Ripper.

18 comments:

  1. Raymond Chandler eat your heart out. Laughed at (Union) Jack The Ripper, look forward to the installment...

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  2. Worthy of a pint this week Conan :)

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  3. We unionist have always suspected that, due to the company he keeps, Niko was one of Salmond's sodgers in disguise but only an extremely astute and callous P.I./News of the World reporter would blow his cover. No doubt MI5 will be taking him for a trip up a mountain or in the woods with no return ticket.

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  4. The clock is ticking on you Conan..tick tock!

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  5. And please use three dots in your aposiopesis/ellipsis...you are on a classy post now.

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  6. Dont worry conan an axe in the back of your head will sort it out

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  7. Conan,

    Their you go agen. You shud be awair that us unionists are no goode at speling or grandma.

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  8. i is brownlie.Wot is niko's prob? is it is cos i is Jockish? innit.

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  9. jus cos i dont come from the country club side of the hill...and keep to me working class roots summat the upwardly mobile snp supporters tend to like to forget....

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  10. So you from norf or sarf of the river, Niko?

    Or Berkshire?

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  11. Conan,

    Don't put the berk in Berkshire.

    Niko,

    I hear that Gordon's mobile sometimes goes upwardly and horizontally mobile on occasions.

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  12. When does this showdown finally happen or are you and Niko just a work of fiction.

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  13. C'mon, Conan, don't keep me in suspenders - when's the next episode? Does Niko bury the hatchet? Will Conan be bearded in his den? Will Rufus make a come-back as Sandi Thom? Was it the real AM2 or was it a cunning stunt? Is there any difference or is my real name Mrs Malaprop? Will subrosa reveal all?

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  14. Another docs appointment tomorrow brownlie. I'll see how I feel then; but keeping up with Niko, especially his adventures of "Oor Conan" is getting harder...

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  15. Hey, I got a mention!

    Touched, m'lud.

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